I'm sensing a theme today

Men behaving badly

Hello dear friends,

I have not turned on NPR, PBS, CNN or looked at the NYT today. Nothing with three letters in its name. I am not hiding my head in the sand, I just need a moment of quiet to gather my thoughts in light of the pending storm. But the storm yesterday left a gorgeous blanket of snow in our part of the woods.

I began my day early before 7 am, reading Substack newsletters.

And I detected a theme. Take a look at these.

Laurie Stone

’s brilliant essay today on male writers:

The Pass

Deborah Copaken

’s take on the Neil Gaiman story, which broke over the summer in this podcast. https://www.tortoisemedia.com/listen/master-the-allegations-against-neil-gaiman

Dear Neal Gaiman: consensual ≠ consent

I thought of all the authors I read obsessively growing up. At age 11 or so, I took my first Philip Roth book out of the library - the one at my Temple, Har Sinai. Actually, the woman who manned the desk refused to let me sign it out. My mom, god-I-don’t-believe-in bless her, demanded that I be allowed to take out any books I wanted.

So it began, my love affair with Philip Roth. This led me down the path of male writers who are really writing for other male writers (Laurie Stone, thank you for pointing this out), or perhaps they were writing for young impressionable minds like my own, saying THIS is how a woman should be? Martin Amis, John Cheever, Christopher Hitchens, John Irving, Tom Wolfe, Gore Vidal, Paul Auster, Ian McEwan — oh, just look HERE.

Decades — it took me decades to realize just how misogynistic most of these writers are. Even Alice Munro falls into that category.

Me, 13 years old. Already telling anyone who would listen exactly what I thought. May 10, 1976. This dress is so cute. And did I ever really stand a chance, with C-cups already at this age? And I thought I was fat.

Now, at the age of 61, I am just starting to put the pieces together. Reading those authors when I was a teenager damaged me to some extent. I am writing about this now in essays for a memoir. You can see some of this work on my Medium account. Pieces in progress that I like to hit the “publish” button on so that it truly feels like I’m working towards something.

So, to the thousands of you who receive this newsletter — I know many of you signed up when I had my bookstore, then stayed with me through Ayurveda, cooking classes, meditation classes, writing classes, sacred site trips, and more. This Substack has evolved just as I have. I so appreciate you being here with me on the journey.

As I am ignoring today's events, I’ll just toss out some wonderful things I have coming up, and hope you can join me. (Don’t worry, I am staying vigilant. German passport is in the works.)

March 16, 10 am - 2 pm: Meditation and Writing at Manor Mill in Monkton

April 7-10, Embodied Writing Retreat at Casa Om Potomac, West Virginia

September 21-28, Write & Roam Iceland. Registration is now open!

I love you all. Please Click the heart to like the post, share, and tell me your thoughts in the comments. Whether you have free a subscription or you have tossed some shekels my way - you’ll get all my words always. I never paywall. I think that’s mean.

xo, keep the peace.

susan